Look, we've all been there. The session went really badly. Or it was really difficult. Either something happened for you, someone said something that was really hard to hear, or you're just working in a space of high trauma or grief. You need to take a few minutes and talk about what just happened.

But the next call starts 2 minutes ago. And sure, people might understand, but—it's fine, you can take a break later. Another meeting. You haven't even got up from your desk since that difficult session.

I get it. I've done it myself. I always regret it. What you don't make space for now comes back to you as tension, discomfort, and secondary trauma. You really need to make space to have a good, emotionally centred debrief when you run a difficult or emotionally challenging session.

A good debrief not only helps you to remember important pieces of information, but also ensures that you're actually able to process the session. Debriefing well is an important part of having an accessible and inclusive practice grounded in an understanding of trauma.

This is a debrief method we've built to help us come back to our bodies and our feelings after a difficult session, and make sure you're able to get on with your day without thinking about the session that evening when you're sat on the sofa mindlessly watching Taskmaster.

How it works

You can do this with as little as 15 minutes, or as long as you need. In most cases, 15–30 minutes will do it.

This isn't a way to avoid getting proper professional help if you need it. This is a debrief process, helping you to feel grounded and centred again and minimising your risk of secondary trauma. This also isn't a critical incident process. If something dangerous or catastrophic happens, follow your safeguarding processes and ensure you take the time to process with professionals.

You can use the acronym BREAK to remember what's needed in the debrief:

• Boundaries
• Reactions
• Embodiment
• Aftermath
• Knowledge

Boundaries

Create boundaries around the session. Describe what you are and aren't going to talk about, and be clear about how long everyone has for the debrief.

Create a sense of calm in a way that feels right. That might involve everyone taking some deep breaths together, going for a walk whilst you debrief, or getting a hot drink together.

Reactions

Talk through your initial reactions. This is the stuff that's on the top of your mind, or might be a way you're feeling in your body. It could involve something people said, something that happened, or something that's sticking with you.

Afterwards, you might want to discuss some of what you found difficult in the session.

Embodiment

Grounding in your bodily sensations is the single most important thing to do after a difficult sensation.

Have everyone check how they're feeling in their body. Is there any tension lingering? Any surprising sensations you're not used to?

Secondary trauma can show up in any number of sensations. You might feel tight, short of breath, restless, bored, or uncomfortable. Don't judge or try to change the sensation, just notice it and mention it to each other.

If the sensation is lingering in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you could try clenching all of your muscles very tightly, holding for a count of 10, then unclenching them. Repeat as needed. It's not foolproof, but it's a way of trying to help our body close out our stress cycle.

Other ways you can close your stress cycle include:

• Physical activity,
• Breathing,
• Laughter,
• Creativity

Aftermath

After grounding in your body, ask each other whether there are any images sticking with you in the aftermath of the session. "Stuck" images can be a useful early warning sign of secondary trauma.

These images might be things you've seen, something someone has said, or something you thought of because of something someone said.

Talking about the images can be enough to help them get unstuck, but if you find them staying with you after the debrief, you can:

• Get a piece of paper and a pen,
• Hold the image in your mind, and start drawing a tight spiral outwards.
• Make the lines as close as possible without touching.

Do this for five minutes, and you might find yourself able to let go of the image.

Knowledge

Many debriefs start with knowledge. Attending to the body before discussing the knowledge is important for a meaningful and emotionally grounded debrief.

What is the important information that you're taking away from the session? Ask each other what you feel the most important things you learned in that session were. What do you know now, that you didn't before? What is it important that you pay attention to?

If you make use of our debrief process, we'd love to hear about it. BREAK has helped us to find ourselves again in the midst of some really difficult, aggressive, or grief-filled sessions. We hope that it helps you, too. Feel free to use or adapt it as you see fit.

If you'd like to know more about Critical Incident Debriefing, which informed this method, then you can find out more here. Critical Incident Debriefing is normally used for crisis events and requires more experienced practitioners to support it. We developed BREAK because we think everyone deserves access to good tools to support them in working safely.